The long awaited reunion

img_4247Families are often torn apart by many circumstances including war, parents who put children up for adoption, through natural disasters, divorce or by family dysfunction or abuse.

Regardless of the reason, children are often scattered to the wind, often lose track of their fellow siblings and relatives or are so traumatized by what had occurred in their lives that they chose to remain detached from their extended families and loved ones.

There may be the fear of finding out things that might be all the more disturbing, worries over whether or not they are even loved or wanted by those family members or by having to re-live some very devastating incidents that have been buried deep inside.

As such there is often an emptiness within many of those involved that comes from not having those connections and from the wondering of what became of those family members and of being torn over should I have tried to reconnect and if so then would I be happier if I did.

The truth is, most everyone loses when a family is torn asunder. Siblings who loved each other miss the opportunity to be with each other and share in each other lives, cousins, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents and other family members don’t have the benefit of knowing each other and sharing in each others lives.

In our families case it was family dysfunction and abuse that tore apart our family and sent us to our various corners. Though I was fortunate to continue to have contact with my two sisters, due to various factors those connections were loose at best and we weren’t able to fully partake in each others lives.

I also had two half-sisters, one whom I never have been able to be in the presence of and another who left our home fifty plus years ago and never returned.

The was able to connect with the one whom I’ve never seen some fifteen or so years ago. We corresponded by phone and by letter numerous times. It was great to reconnect but unfortunately once I pushed for a face-to-face meeting all correspondence ceased on her part. I suspect she was still dealing with too much pain and the thought of finding out more was simply too much for her to deal with.

It was partially for that reason that I never tried to track down my other half sister. As much as I wanted to re-connect and prayed every day that we sometime would, at the same time I figured that if what had happened to her was so devastating that she needed her space then I didn’t feel right about possibly hurting her further if I did.

In my novels my character was torn with the same dilemma but as he was braver than me he finally sought out his sibling.

They say though that God works in mysterious ways and it was actually through my books that my brave niece  was able to find me and help me and my sister to reconnect with my long lost half-sister. Had I not written my personal story “Chicken of The Sea” and my novel “The Nonconformist” she might not have been able to do so.

This past weekend my wife, my sister and I were finally able to enjoy a reunion with our half sister along her wonder daughter and grandchildren (our niece and grand niece and nephew) on the Gulf Coast.

For me, the reunion was sheer joy and an absolute blessing and something I will hold onto for the remainder of my days. It was if time had stood still (except for the aging part) and we seemed to pick up where we left off. Sure there were tough subjects and revelations that were dealt with but through the dealing with those issues came a great deal of healing, laughter and good times.

I am confident our reunion will help put to rest a difficult chapter in many of our lives and will represent the start of a new and joyous chapter for our combined families but even if I could only have this one glorious reunion with my family then I will know I am truly blessed and better for having it.

Thanks for checking in this week. I hope all is well with you and yours and continue to cherish family, friends loved ones and all of God’s creatures.

Somehow I went the entire week without crying (trying to be brave for everyone) but I am now.

Aloha, Paul



About authorpaulhayden

Author, artist, screenwriter, environmentalist. husband, father, surfer, surfing instructor, volunteer.
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