In God’s Hands

545513_10151068901303949_1177005509_nIn 1998 a surfing based movie came out entitled “In God’s Hands”. It wasn’t the best surfing movie of all time in my opinion but still pretty good. What struck me the most about it however was the title which I think was perfect for the theme they were trying to get across.

In a world that is seemingly at times very control based, as much as we might often think we can control things, there are times where things are to a certain, if not great degree, out of our hands and control.

For me surfing is one of those instances where I have come to realize that much of my destiny is out of my control. Sure I can prepare my body and mind as well as I can before paddling out and yes I can decide what waves to paddle into and what I’d like to do on any given wave but after that there are just too many variables present that I have no control over.

The wave might look a certain way as it approaches but end up doing something completely different than what I thought it would before paddling into it. I also might not execute my maneuvers correctly and get pitched off my board uncontrollably or held down longer than expected.

Although I like to surf with buddies as much as possible there are many times I end up surfing alone and I don’t just do so in small surf. I’ve been alone out in hurricane swells and at times when it was so foggy I  couldn’t see the beach.

I’ve also been circled by sharks, whales and all sorts of marine life and stung badly by man of war jellyfish. Bottom line, there are so many variables present during any given session that at some point I either have to realize I only have a certain degree of control and simply pray for a safe session or not paddle out at all. Bottom line, I’d rather surf and risk injury or death than to miss out on the fun.

Believe me, it took me a long time in my life to get to this point. When I was young I had enough phobias to sink a battleship and was always worried about one thing or another and trying to control my situation. If you’ve ever seen the movie “What About Bob” with Bill Murray, you will get a good feel for the extent of my phobias. Heck, I could barely get through it the first time I watched it because it resembled me so much which freaked me out.

While I know I will always struggle with some of those things, fortunately I have found a way to move past them to a great degree, to let go and to place my fears in the hands of a higher power. As such I now have a lot more fun and am always ( well at least most of the time) looking to expand my horizons and test my limits.

A good test of it came this week. My wife Kathy had to go into the hospital for knee replacement surgery. Hospitals in general freak me out even for some reason even though I’ve had my share of surgeries for some torn or broken body part over the years. For some reason however I have a lot more difficult tie with it when it’s a loved one who is in there for something or another.

I guess t goes back to the whole control thing. Maybe it’s because I feel like I have the responsibility to make things right for them or maybe it’s because I have no control over what is going on with them but either way it really troubles me. I also get way too caught up with all of the vital information being projected on the monitor and worry when the little light goes on when something drops below or above what it’s supposed to.

Fortunately, before I got way too wrapped up in it all I finally came to realize it was pretty much all out of my hands and control and finally left those concerns to my wife, the doctors and God.

So yes I’m trying to learn to let go more and more and as I do I’m sure I’m going to be happier and happier and less and less stressed.

I hope that all of those who might read this and deal with similar issues will be able to leave it all “In God’s Hands” too.

Take care, have a great week and I look forward to seeing you back here again next week.

By the way, Kathy came home today and the operation seemed to go very well and she is doing much better.

Aloha, Paul

About authorpaulhayden

Author, artist, screenwriter, environmentalist. husband, father, surfer, surfing instructor, volunteer.
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