Families are Complicated

IMG_2764 There is a line in the movie “Home Alone” where Kevin is in the church sitting next to his old neighbor and they are talking about families. During their discussion the old man says, “families are a complicated thing”.

After hearing it I could not help but to think how true those words are. Although we all come from the same group of families, we are in fact all very different and unique in our own ways. This, in and of itself can create some unique family dynamics and at times conflict.

I believe this is good and healthy and makes life interesting. The problem arises when people are not tolerant of each other and their differing viewpoints, beliefs and way of living their lives. Many families, and I know this from experience, get angry, defensive and critical with their loved ones which creates conflict within the family unit.

Conflict will develop from time-to-time and as they say conflict can be good because it gets the issues out on the table and helps us to find common ground and resolution. Unfortunately, many people are not able to handle conflict well and end up saying horrible things then walk away sometimes for good. In such cases no one wins and all that is left are regrets and sorrow.

And this doesn’t just happen in families, it can happen in friendships, at work and in societies as a whole. Once we demonize someone then it’s easy to hurt them or treat them poorly.

I’ve come to believe that at the root of people’s inability to resolve issues and reconnect is their ability to apologize, admit their mistakes and both forgive and accept forgiveness. In addition, the longer we distance ourselves from others the less likely it is that we reconnect.

Normally I like to keep my blogs light but as I look at what is going on in the world and within families it concerns me deeply and my hope is that the more we talk about the issue then hopefully it will make more of us reconsider our situation and make amends with each other.

After all, if we can’t get along as families and friends then how on earth are we going to get along as cultures and societies.

Thanks for checking in and I look forward to hearing from you regarding your thoughts and suggestions. In the interim I hope you have a great week and reconnect with someone you haven’t talked to (no that doesn’t include texting) in a long time.

Aloha, Paul

About authorpaulhayden

Author, artist, screenwriter, environmentalist. husband, father, surfer, surfing instructor, volunteer.
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